Whatever Takes Us Away

We all have a tremendous responsibility to our family and friends. I am starting to realize this more and more each day. Our small group is doing a lesson about friendship, how we get into them, how we nurture them, and how we stay in them for a long time - I am realizing that I have friendships, deep meaningful relationships that before I just considered these people acquaintences.

"Bob" is a good friend, he's going through some tough times with family and with relationships (past and present) and does not have a lot of people he can talk to. I listen, sometimes not exactly listening, but still hearing and being able to comprehend, answer when necessary and occassionally give advice. I didn't realize until the other day how much someone like "Bob" relies on someone like me. A friend when there are no others. A helping hand when it's needed. An ear to bend, even if it is the same or similar story over and over again. I realize that I have a responsibility to "Bob" and that I may be the only person he comes in contact with that even atttends church on a regular basis.

So I offer him and others, friends, family, acquaintences and even my enemies counsel; though it may be against everything I feel inside. From the time I was small I remember, "Love your enemies" and know that I Can kill with kindness (thought kill is a harsh word). I listen, and without knowing it at the moment I hear that same story (again) I learn. I learn about myself and who I am, another lesson learned on this journey. And with that, until next time . . .

Another day begins. Kids off to school, breakfast eaten (French Toast & Coffee) and I've had my morning walk around the yard (scheming about where to plant flowers for the year). And I have been thinking.

Yesterday morning at church I had a couple people approach me and point out something good. I've always been a humble person, not accepting gracious comments very well, but yesterday was different somehow. When I had an elderly woman comment on me playing the drums last week during the service, I politely and honestly said, "thank you!" Likewise, a man had a similar commment, "I really enjoyed your drumming last week." Again, I said, "thank you!" I meant it. I felt it. I understood it. I used to say things like, "I'm just doing what I feel I should be doing" and "It's really nothing." I never said thank you, or at least not very often. Compliments are hard to take and understand, for me anyway. Maybe it's a maturity thing.

At what point in our lives to we truly understand our purposes here. I have my moments where I think I have the answers, moments of clarity, but they are usually fleeting, brief mental lapses with a shaky foundation. I do have a sound foundation though. I've come to know this foundation over the last several years and know that it grows stronger day by day, year by year. I used to mock people that sounded like I now sound. I used to poke fun at those who claimed what I now claim.

It is because of those people that give me compliments now that I can say with authority that Jesus is that foundation. They share their thoughts, feelings and emotions with me in love - a radical idea that this Nazarene started nearly 2000 years ago. Love those unloved. Love those with nothing. Love those that have plenty but do not see it. Share your talents, gifts and everything you have. You may not be able to see thhe benefits now, you may not reap what you have sown now, but someday you will. I KNOW what I have. I SEE what I have. I begin to understand WHAT I have. It isn't something I want today and not think about tomorrow.

I contemplated for a few days whether or not to start this blog, this digital journal. I am finding already that there is therapy in it. I am seeing already that I am traveling this journey, not alone to find something unknown, but with a constant companion that will be there with me always. Son of a Jewish carpenter, friend, confidant, redeemer, savior - the Nazarene called Jesus - traveling companion to me, to you, to all.

Most likely, in a few days, I will decide whether or not to allow others to join in with me on this journey. Give others a glimpse into who I am, who I choose to be and whose I choose to be. "will be the same to drive us on" and I see what has taken me away and what will be the driving force for me.

It’s hard to decide where to begin, exactly where to begin. With a world revolving around constant bombardment of media - television, radio, internet, news (if you can call it that anymore) papers - it really is hard to decide where to begin with something like this . . . a fresh start and fresh look at an ages old idea; a journal. These days, however, are different. It used to be that what you wrote in a journal you kept to yourself, a private and intimate solace, a place where you kept your thoughts, ideas, dreams, wishes and prayers all to yourself. Today, we keep these digital files, loaded on the world wide web and call them weblogs, or blogs. Which leads me to where to begin. I’ve a number of friends and family that have started their own blogs, and a few have prompted me to do the same. But that still leaves a blank in the “where” department. I suppose I could begin with a little background information, but that leaves little to the imagination: no imagination, no thought; no thought, no vision; no vision, no life. I’ll leave the personal information out, you decide, based on the words left here, whether in rhyme or rhythm, poetry or prose, who I am and what kind of person I may or may not be. I struggle with life, really struggle with life. I love my family, wife, kids, parents, in-laws. But life sometimes frustrates me to no end. I often wonder why God put me here and what His purpose for me is. I’ve guessed at it before - and have been horribly wrong. I try not to decide too much or invest too much of my energy into thinking these days. I don’t get paid to think. Am I to go into some form of ministry full time? I have wrestled with that questions for the past few years, but it has never felt like the direction God is leading me. So God, what is the direction you have in mind for me? What is my part in Your plan here while I’m still alive on Earth? I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, unloved or unloving! I truly appreciate what He has provided me me and my family, I live by God’s grace and mercy everyday of my life now. It wasn’t always so . . . “Whatever takes us away, will be the same to drive us on!” (Alter Bridge) As I sit here, staring at this screen, typing these words I listen to Alter Bridge (Creed all grown up with a real singer) and contemplate the words to “Burn It Down” and see - there is a clear picture and purpose in my life. So, as I continue, hopefully, to write entries into this “digital journal” (blog) I’m sure I’ll find that purpose, that calling, and draw into focus the plan that He has in store for me. I’m up for journey, are you?